Contemplating Contemplation

Well, I probably made a fool out of myself once again. It often happens when I am holding onto ideas, concepts, beliefs, opinions especially tightly as if they would break. And, of course, they do invariably break – out – of my mouth – for all, including me, to hear. Sometimes I feel all proud of my convictions – and sometimes maybe even rightly so. Those I quickly gather back inside for toting out on future occasions. Sometimes, however, I hear them come out as half-baked, insufficiently examined, or just as plainly foolish as they are. Those I also gather back in, this time for a serious inspection, scrubbing, polishing up, or, alas far too rarely, discarding. No wonder there is not much room for anything new to creep in.  

Long paragraph for a short point: I mentioned at a small faith group gathering my rebellion against contemplation as a practice. While acknowledging the proven medical values of meditation, I saw the recommendation to spend any more than a brief portion of spiritual life in contemplation or contemplative prayer as the antithesis of what we are called to do, i.e. to bring peace and justice to the world. For heaven’s sake, I urged, let’s get going; we have so much to do, especially we who live such privileged lives. Don’t we hear the cries? Don’t we see the suffering? Make your actions in life, not your retreat from life, the prayer.

The above was a version of what I much more briefly said last Tuesday morning. Then on Tuesday afternoon I attended a webinar entitled “Spiritual Strength in Turbulent Times” featuring NETWORK’s Simone Campbell as main speaker. And what did she focus on, my heroine of activism for peace and justice and positive change: contemplative prayer!  

I’m now briefly going to relate what I heard filtered through my experiences and barriers which may or may not be what she meant. (I did take notes.) As I mentioned in my last post about Dante’s Divine Comedy, it’s best if we all go to the source, in this case her latest book, Hunger for Hope. That said, she caught people like me (and she is so wonderful she even included herself) in our narrowness immediately by urging us to experience the fresh and refreshing openness contemplation can bring. To experience that expansion, however, we need to make some room. If, for example, we have hands wrapped around one troubling experience in life or belief system or rule (hello, Catholic Church) or even tightly wrapped around something good, basking in pride or accomplishment or accolade, our hands are not open, and there is no room for the new. 

Time spent in contemplation, on the other hand, shows us it is not all about us, what we do, what we try to control. As we sit in that silent stillness, we can just say a quiet “help” for whatever troubles us and then be quiet again and listen. Rather than an indulgent, isolating practice in self-care exercised by those privileged with ample time and resources, contemplation instead becomes a gathering in of all that needs our attention, people, places, worldviews, institutions. It becomes a conduit to recognizing more profoundly, our oneness. 

I had never seen the practice as a way of connecting before this, but Simone Campbell affirmed our individual perceptions coming forward through this quiet inner listening as critically important to our moving forward together. As an example, she described some of the latest Nuns on the Bus trips to rural areas and hearing stories from people who have for so long felt unheard. These are the people, she said, who often keep acting out ever more stridently and desperately until we finally hear their cries and wrap them in love. When we let them break our hearts open, we can never leave them out of our prayers. This is the kind of openness and listening we have cultivated if we are practicing our own contemplative listening, and when we return to contemplation again, they will forever be in that space with us. We will all be uttering that quiet “help”, maybe even “communally weeping”, and then, and only then, can begin to act together to bring justice and peace.

There will always be tension, she reminded us, between the dominant culture and the “prophetic imagination.” Contemplation helps relieve and resolve that tension by tearing down walls. Some have described contemplation and contemplative prayer as the way to create doorways: to inner peace, understanding, self-care, renewed spirit. She pointed out we don’t need doorways if we don’t have walls. That, for me, was the essence of what I needed to hear. We tear down walls by taking people, animals, plants, the earth, sorrows, devastations, and frustrations with us into that quiet. It may feel like focus inward, but it is really a way also of going through, and outward as all connects, and we recognize we are all being created anew together every moment. Then when we act, we have a reawakened sense of our shared vision, of what we are fighting for rather than against. 

I believe these perspectives apply to our own struggle for inclusion in leadership and ministry in our Church. She mentioned the Catholic Church in terms of the tension created by its focus on rules and traditions versus a more necessary focus on spiritual nourishment. She saw the Church itself needing its own “contemplative conversion” and taking us with it which she believed would ultimately draw people in rather than away. 

I feel so blessed that I heard what I heard and can finally embrace contemplation as a vital part of the way forward.  Thank you, Simone Campbell and all the others who have tried to bring me to this realization for so long.