By Carmen Lane

Printed in NewWomen, NewChurch, a publication of Women's Ordination Conference, Vol. 25, No.1,Spring 2002

My best friend from camp bought me a t-shirt that said: LOVE SEES NO COLOR/RACISM HURTS EVERYBODY. She is white--very tall, very thin, blond, from a small town in Ohio, ironically called Berlin Center. We met at camp when we were twelve. It was a camp for "gifted" children. She bought me the t-shirt about four years into our friendship (Oh, yes, I am black). We acquired a sense of humor about our friendship-we bonded more on being outspoken aggressive women [better known as "bitches"] then about our obvious racial differences. I actually never wore the shirt that much but had decided to wear it on one particular day--at one particular event.

I was going to be baptized Catholic at the Easter Vigil. I was seventeen and decided to "convert" so to speak and become a Roman Catholic. I had come from a secular home and had several significant experiences which started me on a journey to find a spiritual home. I was quite shocked and defiant when I received the call to the Church! I was also aware that I would be living on the margins of the Church; and that was where I was supposed to be. So, I decided to wear the shirt for my baptism. I was going to make a spiritual/political statement about who I was and what I was bringing to the Church. What God was bringing to the Church- a troublemaker. Me.

I wanted my community to know that I was not an irony, but a necessity.

I give you this image to speak to that necessity-the vital work to be done around the lack of women of color presence/out lesbian presence/young woman presence and the Women's Ordination Conference. We all must be present. Me. The troublemaking woman of color dyke. I am not talking about the dangerous we that makes women who are not white, not rich, not straight, or able bodied invisible. I am talking about the contested space of we. The you-don’t-want-to-talk-about-us we. The not so simple we. The come-over-here-where-I live we. You-are-more-than-welcome-to-delve-into-these-uncomfortable-waters we. This is where I live. I invite you to indulge in a visit.

Where I stand as a young African-American lesbian feminist called to the Church and to priesthood- my black body, my lesbian body, my child born of a child self, my colonized body re-imagining its possibility- is not only an expression of identity politics but it shapes my theology. It is my Godtalk. It is the particulars of my womanhood- the particulars of my calling. It is part of your/our collective identity as WOC. It is time for us to have a conversation and create a complex action plan that aids in our fight towards ordination. This includes doing anti-oppression work. A friend and colleague reminded me that I do not desire to be ordained in a church steeped in a history of racism, sexism, colonialism, and imperialism.

There is much work to be done in creating the church of our imaginings. The church we know is possible; that exists between us. Ordaining women is not the magical answer to this radical transformation we seek. It will not end the system of oppression that has kept us from being ordained in the first place. If we do not do our work to include the women who live on the margins-me/the troublemaker et. al, women will never be ordained.

This work is not separate from our women's ordination work. It is the work of ordination. If we continue to fragment the bodies of women doing this work, our work will never get done. Thea Bowman [1937-1990], an African-American religious, convert to Roman Catholicism, lover of the Church, activist/advocate of diversity and its presence within the Church said simply, "If we are not family, we can't become Church."

If we are not family, sisters, we cannot be ordained.

M. Carmen Lane is a black, Catholic, lesbian, feminist, artist and activist doing her work--asking [in the words of Audre Lorde]"are you doing yours?" She is a member of WOC/YFN. At present, Carmen works in the sexual assault movement as an educator in Lansing, Mich.